10/10/13
Lonely
Lonely is often overlooked
It creeps in on solitude and crowds
Lonely doesn’t mean alone
This is for the girl who doesn’t feel like she’s enough and who
never has
For the boy who was never told he means something
For the young adults, the 20 some things, who can’t figure
out what’s next
What is next?
Running through life always moving
Rushing
From one event to another….
Meaning—we’re all looking for meaning and
We’re always waiting
Waiting for the next step, the next occasion
Lonely comes at the most inconvenient times
Lonely comes at all the times
It comes to the man sitting at the end of the bar, soggy
coaster
Gin that drips with tears in all directions
For the one who’s misguided anger comes out all wrong
For the moms with their heads on the steering wheel, red
light after red light
Adolescents, who know who they are but can’t tell
For those who will be hung over their identities
Just for who they are
And we’re all tired…
Tired of running, tired of wishing without return
This is for everyone because everyone has felt the emptiness
Everyone has been too tired to think, too tired to keep
chasing meaning
What is meaning—
Is meaning the feeling you get when you watch your son’s
first dance recital
Or you finally get that call from your father after 10 years
Or is waking up enough
Maybe meaning is found within ourselves… like we always
thought
Or maybe, just maybe it’s in the eyes of someone who loves
us
Who sees us for who we are without the murky waters of pressure
Of the expectations we put on ourselves
As unrealistic as they may be
The cloudiness of I am not enough…
Because you are enough
And when you realize that you are…
No one will be able to stop you
And lonely won’t come so often anymore
Lonely will be your distant friend
Oceans apart
Lonely
10/10/13
Insecurities—A Love
Story
I saw her from across the room and I knew
I knew that all of the unstable parts of me would spill out
I did such a good job of keeping them under lock and key
Hidden behind a mysterious façade
Quiet, reserved, sullen
The day she walked into my life
Everything spilled out of my veins
My emotions, I couldn’t restrain
These emotions—crippling
I needed her to know all of me
Every last scar, the places where people disappointed me
Because that’s who I am—who we are
With all these scars smeared across my body
From these emotions
Spilled out like water from an open dam
Came all my insecurities
I am not good enough
She’s too good for me
I am not worthy of such beauty
How could she like…wait love, me
Can’t she see my bruises, the fresh one
My scars, the old buried pain
She pulled me in and from the first kiss
From that moment, I knew
I knew that she was a gift—she was the embodiment of grace
From my ashes came new life
Rebirth, innovation…
Like this was meant to save me
Like she was sent to resurrect my spirit
To make me what I was meant to be
Not to save me from the things outside
But to show me the beauty that lies within
To show me how to stop existing
And start living
10/10/13
SHE
She was a foreign language
The first time I saw her I knew any words I’d speak wouldn’t
make sense
I knew that I couldn’t talk to her
Three weeks later, “Hey”
But it’s like I couldn’t understand what she said…
I said, “Uh”
She wasn’t a romance language
She was intense and quiet
She was a firework in the summer
She was a snow-covered field
I wanted her more than I’d ever wanted anything
I told her
“I caught feelings”
Like running to catch the ball to win the game, but missing
Because she told me she didn’t feel the same
Then one night
Her lips pressed against mine told me—
“I’m your snow-covered field
You can have every acre”
I couldn’t breathe…
I still didn’t know the words I needed to communicate with
her
This was what I wanted…
Confusion rushed in
My mind began to spin thoughts like leaves in the gusty
autumn
She was the most beautiful word I’d ever heard
She
And then I knew
I love you ok
That’s all I needed to say
You’re my field and my firework
You’re the most beautiful logos
The one that didn’t get away
You’re the one that stayed
SHE
10/10/13
He brought me the sunrise in a cup one morning
